I'm coming home

Today I packed up all of my belongings and cleaned out my desk at work. As I took all of my pictures down, I came across Kevin's formal Army picture that was taken at Basic Training. That was 8 years ago...before we were married...dealing with issues much different than the ones we are going through today...before all the grief...and before all the joy. As we go through life, it's funny how our trials change. At the time, it seemed like you'd never survive the pain. Yet years later, you look back and see that not only did you survive but you've faced even more since then and survived those too.

Saying good-bye to my desk. :(

It's still a little surreal that I won't be working anymore. I don't think it really sank in until I packed up my desk. I've been there for over five years. I met some amazing people, and I accomplished more than I knew I was capable of. I thoroughly enjoyed my job, my manager, the company, and my coworkers and friends. There's a lot that I'm going to miss. There is one thing I won't miss, though: rush hour traffic. ;)

So 8 years ago we were dealing with being separated because of the army and the stress of possibly more separations. A year later we were trying to tolerate each other as newlyweds. Since then, we've had more than our fair share of issues to work through in our relationship, marriage, and families. We dealt with years of missing our angels, and now we have issues that I actually love having because they mean we have our family. We're faced with parenting challenges and the task of caring for our babies. 

Even before we got married, our dream was for Kevin to be able to provide for us so that I could stay home to care for the kiddos. We both feel that the most important place me to be is at home despite the financial sacrifices that we'll have to make. Kevin was not fond of daycare as a kid, and he didn't want that for his kids. I was raised with a mom who was always home, and it is something I am so thankful for now. Because so many of the women in my family stayed home, I didn't appreciate it as much as I should have growing up. For me, it was the "norm". Now I realize how amazing of a job they did and continue to do.

We may have had a million marital issues, but money was never one of them. That is one thing that we were able to enjoy all those years without kids. We were able to buy what we wanted, never needed a budget, and we took vacations whenever we had time. It was probably selfish as we should have saved a lot more for our future, but I'm not going to lie, it was fun. Kevin and I love to travel, and we love giving gifts. It was fun to treat people unexpectedly and buy them gifts they could never afford for themselves. We'll miss those things, but obviously they mean nothing in comparison to what we'll gain. It's all a matter of prioritizing. It does feel a little odd going from being "wealthy" to not being able to afford a $3 Blizzard at DQ, but we know God will take care of us. We do have options if this doesn't work out, and we'll do what we need to do.

Besides the whole money thing, though, we couldn't be happier. Our two little rugrats are keeping their mama plenty busy at home. Believe me. I was a much better actuary than I am a stay at home mom! In my "spare time", I'm trying to find some way(s) to supplement our income to ease the financial burden, but as any of you other mamas out there know, it isn't that easy. There are just not enough hours in the day!

This day was bittersweet. We'll miss parts of our past life, but we're looking forward. We've waited a long time for this. I'm where I was meant to be.

♪   I'm coming home. I'm coming home.   ♫