A blessing or a lesson?

"We met for a reason; either you're a blessing or a lesson."

My heart is heavy. Some things have come up recently that just keep swirling around in my head. At times like this, thoughts like this can overwhelm me, consume me, even, and sometimes it helps me to talk or write about things.

I have a tendency to feel things deeply. I'm full of emotion. All the time. I'm troubled by things that don't affect me directly...they may be things that I can relate to or trials that my loved ones are coping with. My mom always tells me that I can't carry everyone else's burdens with me, and I know it's true, but it's easier said than done. That seems to be the way God made me. It can be exhausting, though, because I have my own issues to deal with...and we all know that's plenty! I sometimes feel worthless because people are struggling, and there's nothing I can do. I just wish no one had to hurt.

Kevin learned that one of his fellow soldiers passed away last week. He was only slightly older than us, and he left behind a wife and an unborn son. I just can't stop thinking about them and wishing I could take away their unfathomable pain. I only met him a couple times so it is not like I knew him personally (but I liked him because he told Kevin I was pretty or hot or something :D...ha ha...). It just got me thinking about life, how short it can be, and how one person can touch so many lives...whether it's through one brief conversation or by creating a new life. I hate that it often takes a death for me to remember this, but I find comfort knowing I met this man for a reason: he was a tiny blessing to me that day he complimented me.

Two people close to me are dealing with people in their lives that may be "lessons", and it really gets me down. Life is hard enough to get through without people intentionally causing pain to others. I remember talking about this with a good friend in high school late into the night, and at some point in our conversation as we were probably dozing off, one of us said "Why can't everyone just be nice?" We would kind of joke about the naivete of it later, but in all honesty, it is true and is still my wish. 

My sister, who's in the middle school ages, is getting her first taste of "mean girls". She doesn't know what she's done to deserve the treatment that she's getting, and she feels really alone and upset. These girls have been her friends since they started school together in kindergarten. I don't know the whole story either, but she moved away for a year, and now that she moved back, the girls are ignoring her and refusing to hang out with her. Seeing her innocent heart break just does a number on me. I can see myself in her shoes, and I know she has a good heart and can't understand what's going on. It makes me wonder why people start this kind of behavior because I know no one would like to be on the receiving end. I know the girls' families, and I know they were not raised to treat people poorly so how do some lack empathy? I know not all people act like that, though, and it gives me hope. One of my sister's friends went against the crowd and hung out with her at the county fair. The other girls were there all together, even after they said they'd be unable to go with my sister. It's hard doing the right thing, but I'm glad some people do. Lilly, I don't know that you'll ever read this, but thank you. 

While I've dealt with my share of people who turned out to be lessons in my life, I have many people who are blessings. I had two friends over last week, and afterward, I just felt so grateful considering what my sister is going through. Some of my blessings have come into my life and are now gone for various reasons, but there are many still here today that I need to work harder at remaining in contact with. My sister feels like she has no one right now, but I've told her that one friend is all you need...someone that you can talk to when you're at your worst or who will rejoice with you when things are going well. I've been lucky enough to have a few, and I'm sad that I've grown apart from some. There are just some people that no matter how long it's been, you can just pick up where you left off.

So life can be very short, and you may have only one chance to become a blessing or a lesson in someone's life. My dad has also said, though, that life is long. I try to keep this in mind, too. It is easy to ruin a relationship with someone that is likely to be in your life for a long time, and sometimes there's no going back. There are no do-overs.

What are you to others: a blessing or a lesson? And is that what you intended?