Love comes in infinite forms
One of the most daunting things on our to-do list is this list of 20 biographical questions that we each have to answer. I honestly don’t know how to answer some of them, and that’s what scares me a little bit right now. They cover a lot of things. Some examples are: our childhoods, relationships with our parents, strengths of our marriage, weaknesses in our spouses, our views on discipline, how we feel about our spouse’s relationship with their family, and how our extended family is supporting us.
The last topic, about support from extended family, got me thinking. I am so grateful, and amazed, at how our families have supported us through all of the miscarriages and in the tiny steps we’ve taken on our adoption journey. The outpouring of love, support, and prayers that we received yesterday when I posted a link to my blog was astounding to me. I don’t know why it still hits me so hard since we’ve experienced this the whole time. I feel like maybe I should be used to it, but I’m not. Most people are probably aware that I am a very emotional person. Lots of tears. Kevin calls me “Waterworks”. When we are watching a TV show (yes, I cry during most TV shows and movies) and there’s a tender moment, he will just reach over and wipe my tear without even looking because he knows I’m crying. So, I guess, everything hits me hard: happiness, sadness, grief, and love…or the absence of these things. The absence of love is what I was thinking about when I read that question.
It seems obvious, to me, that an extended family would support a couple as they pursued adoption. I can’t understand how a future grandmother would say that she may not be able to love an adopted grandchild as much as a biological grandchild. I can’t understand when an extended family tries to dissuade a couple from adopting because it won’t be their biological child. Maybe these are very rare cases, and I hope they are. I do know they exist, though, because these issues have been discussed in some of the online adoption groups as people struggle to overcome these obstacles on their adoption journey.
One book that I read compares adoption to marriage. We are not blood-related to our spouses, yet we love them more than anyone else in the world. Kevin was meant to be my husband, and God knew that. My extended family loves him just as much as they love me (maybe even more than me sometimes), and I know they will love our children too. If we are meant to have a family, God will make sure our kids were meant to be our kids, no matter how they come into our life. Love comes in infinite forms, and those many forms are not any lesser or grander than the others.
My heart goes out to those families who have experienced the absence of love. The fact that I know these situations exist may be a reason why I am so moved by all of the love and support we’ve received. We are not alone, and we thank you all for everything. Without our extended family, whether they be our immediate families, friends, or distant relatives, our life would be much different…and not for the better.
So thank you for lifting me up yesterday. The notes, e-mails, and Facebook correspondences were each taken to heart (with a few tears, of course).
The last topic, about support from extended family, got me thinking. I am so grateful, and amazed, at how our families have supported us through all of the miscarriages and in the tiny steps we’ve taken on our adoption journey. The outpouring of love, support, and prayers that we received yesterday when I posted a link to my blog was astounding to me. I don’t know why it still hits me so hard since we’ve experienced this the whole time. I feel like maybe I should be used to it, but I’m not. Most people are probably aware that I am a very emotional person. Lots of tears. Kevin calls me “Waterworks”. When we are watching a TV show (yes, I cry during most TV shows and movies) and there’s a tender moment, he will just reach over and wipe my tear without even looking because he knows I’m crying. So, I guess, everything hits me hard: happiness, sadness, grief, and love…or the absence of these things. The absence of love is what I was thinking about when I read that question.
It seems obvious, to me, that an extended family would support a couple as they pursued adoption. I can’t understand how a future grandmother would say that she may not be able to love an adopted grandchild as much as a biological grandchild. I can’t understand when an extended family tries to dissuade a couple from adopting because it won’t be their biological child. Maybe these are very rare cases, and I hope they are. I do know they exist, though, because these issues have been discussed in some of the online adoption groups as people struggle to overcome these obstacles on their adoption journey.
One book that I read compares adoption to marriage. We are not blood-related to our spouses, yet we love them more than anyone else in the world. Kevin was meant to be my husband, and God knew that. My extended family loves him just as much as they love me (maybe even more than me sometimes), and I know they will love our children too. If we are meant to have a family, God will make sure our kids were meant to be our kids, no matter how they come into our life. Love comes in infinite forms, and those many forms are not any lesser or grander than the others.
My heart goes out to those families who have experienced the absence of love. The fact that I know these situations exist may be a reason why I am so moved by all of the love and support we’ve received. We are not alone, and we thank you all for everything. Without our extended family, whether they be our immediate families, friends, or distant relatives, our life would be much different…and not for the better.
So thank you for lifting me up yesterday. The notes, e-mails, and Facebook correspondences were each taken to heart (with a few tears, of course).
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